i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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