If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
