I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
