Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
