Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
