whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You left your phone here
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