literally had 100 drinks last night.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize