We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
