She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
so much tequila, so little girl.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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