You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
