4 words: hood of his car
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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