erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
