she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
