i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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