I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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