My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just googled if crying burns calories
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
