When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
