I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
