If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
this is an emotional support booty call
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
