i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I lost the right to judge tonight
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