I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I am full of burrito and curiosity
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
