There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
