look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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