Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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