you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
