I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
