I'm jealous of your bromance
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
