I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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