We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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