I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
