Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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