After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think i got beer on your cat.
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