remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
