Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
