In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
