Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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