do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
