just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
