is your mom at the bar?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
