omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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