I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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