Rock
Scissors
Fuck
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Quick, to the slutcave!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
