did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize