You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
