apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
