Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
