me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize