Umm I'm too high to move.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
