i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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