windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
