Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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