And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
