Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize