Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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