he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
