Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
