We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
