Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
