stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
