I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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